Shannon And The Owl

Shannon wants to offer me a job. I want something a little more personal.

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:10:47 AM): do u care for the job

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:10:57 AM): i'd have to hear more

Yeah, I need more time to finish my dirty limericks for an upcoming blog entry. "Blog-ricks"?

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:11:38 AM): kool
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:11:54 AM): first off all i will like to know ur asl and what u do for a living Am 27/ female / single no kids and never been married before from USA, FLORIDA,I work for ROSE HOUSEHOLD TEXTILES LIMITED COMPANY ENGLAND

Stop yelling, moron.

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:12:27 AM): my "asl" is on my profile. were you raised in FL?

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:12:54 AM): ok
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:12:57 AM): thanks
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:13:20 AM): we are looking for a representative in the states, someone who we can entrust with our company money and funds and would help us recieve payments from our customers, clients in the states for the supply of fabric and textile materials we supply to them

Uh, answer my question.

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:14:31 AM): why don't you have the payments directly wired to you.

You know, like a REAL business would do?

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:14:42 AM): were you raised in FL?

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:14:47 AM): yes
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:14:52 AM): but i work in uk
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:14:56 AM): presently
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:15:28 AM): the reason why we dont the payment direct is that

Okay, now I HAVE lived in Florida...for a year....and can't recall one single person who actually speaks like this. At least, I can't recall anyone who was actually raised in this country talking this way. Unbelievable.....

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:15:30 AM): I spent time in FL, so I'm curious.

Okay, more skeptical than curious.

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:15:53 AM): you know that the check is made from us bank

"Us Bank"? Is that like "Us Magazine"? No?

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:16:07 AM): yeah, all you'd have to do is have it mailed or wired.

Or brought to you by seapony express! Pony express? Seahorse? Okay, that was bad. Again, a real business would deposit the money in a U.S. bank and have it transferred or whatever to the account in the UK. They all seem to use this same opening for these scams. At least try something new. Is there some kind of grifting school that teaches wannabe con artists the same lame opening lines?

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:16:12 AM): it will take like 2 month before the check will clear in uk
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:16:29 AM): that is why
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:17:05 AM): All you have to do is help us recieve payments from our customers and clients in the states.These payments are in cashiers check or money orders and they would come to you in your name and information and the reason for this is that you will be the one to cash the check or money orders , so all you need do is cash the check or money orders take out your payment which is $300 USD and wire the rest of the money to us via western union money transfer

Bullshit. 2 months????? RIGHT! I don't know what offends me more: somebody trying to scam me or the fact they think I'm stupid enough to believe them. Let's start testing her..... What say you? Obgeni, anyone?

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:17:07 AM): money orders and cashier checks clear right away. so do credit transactions.

coughcoughyou'reabullshittercoughcough

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:17:34 AM): yes
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:17:42 AM): it will clear right away
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:17:48 AM): in the states
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:18:02 AM): since it was issued by the bank in the states

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:18:25 AM): a money order's already been paid for. same with a cashier's check.

C'mon baby.....lay out the lies.....

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:18:40 AM): yes
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:18:54 AM): there is money on it

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:19:01 AM): exactly.

That's why their called "money orders" and "cashier's checks", you f'n bitch.

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:19:16 AM): And i would need you to give me your full name ,home address e-mail address and your phone number for me to get in contact withyou. so that payment can be made and mail out to you

She's thinking "fuck it, I'll change the subject."

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:19:55 AM): sure, I'll go ahead and email it to you.

I'm a filthy, howl at the moon liar. And I love it.

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:20:15 AM): good
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:20:32 AM): should i give you my emaill address

Sure, and let's get back to you and your childhood.....

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:20:42 AM): sure.
nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:20:55 AM): what area of FL are you from?

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:22:00 AM): west palm beach

Never been there....then again, neither has she.

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:22:16 AM): yeah, it's beautiful there.
nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:22:27 AM): ever hang out at the Palms?

Okay, okay....that was lame. I don't know if there even IS a club there called "The Palms" there. I did a search on Mapquest and found over 80 businesses with "Palms" in their names. I should've asked her if she ever hung out at something like the "Rusty Bent Palm"....

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:22:48 AM): i have left the place for the past 3 years

I didn't ask that!

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:23:21 AM): it's been there forever.....nightclub on the main stretch.

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:23:58 AM): i think so

Bwahahahahahahahahaha! She has fallen into my evil trap! Bwhahahahahaah!

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:24:15 AM): kind of a hole in the wall, but great drinks, hot women...

Time for "Pervert Dan"--whom we all know and love--to lay some charm out!

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:24:17 AM): so give me your name and your address
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:24:24 AM): so that our client can mail out the check to u

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:24:27 AM): got lucky there a few times...

If you know what I mean......wink wink, nudge nudge.

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:24:37 AM): ok

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:25:12 AM): maybe we could meet there when you get back to the US.

If you know what I mean......wink, etc...

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:25:56 AM): i will be in the states
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:26:00 AM): by december

I bet.

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:26:16 AM): I'll be in that area in December.
nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:26:22 AM): could make it earlier.
nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:26:39 AM): we could mix a little business with pleasure, you know?

One percent business and 99 percent pleasure.

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:26:52 AM): can i have your addres now
sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:26:54 AM): yes

Yes? YOU WHORE! Pervert Dan is a horrible person!

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:27:15 AM): sure. what's your email again?

sweetlady_33415 (10/15/2006 1:27:40 AM): ******************

nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:28:10 AM): okay baby....I'll send it off. can't wait to get a few drinks into you.
nyteowl1963 (10/15/2006 1:28:24 AM): because if you're from Florida, I'm from Iceland.

I thought that was a nice way to end it. I basically told her I knew she was a liar. So last night...guess who's back????? Apparently, she didn't QUITE get this dig.....because six days later........

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:48:27 AM): hi

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:48:51 AM): hello

I had actually forgotten her name....needless to say, I was caught off-guard for a moment....

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:49:03 AM): how are u doing today

Wait....wait.......ah shit....it's HER!

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:49:09 AM): good. you?

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:49:18 AM): im fine
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:49:30 AM): why u did not get back to me
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:49:42 AM): about the job

Oh, yeahhhh....that job......I had forgotten about it once she said she'd have sex with me in a condemned Motel 6.

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:50:01 AM): computer crashed.....

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:50:08 AM): oh
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:50:14 AM): how is the computer now

It's great...some Advil and chicken soup did the trick....

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:50:21 AM): still working on it.

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:50:33 AM): are u ready to do the work now

Would YOU hire someone who blew you off for six days?

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:51:15 AM): no.....have some outside interests that'll keep me from doing it....
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:51:21 AM): time constraints.
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:52:47 AM): which is a shame......I really wanted to work with you.

Cuz she has a HOT profile pic! "Work" meaning having hot, steamy.....uh.....anyway...

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:53:23 AM): ok
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:53:24 AM): ok
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:53:26 AM): ok
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:53:26 AM): ok
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:53:29 AM): ok
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:53:35 AM): brb

Okokokokokokokokokokokokokok OoooooooooOKaay!

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:53:44 AM): yes...I'd like to talk to you more....

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:54:27 AM): ok....an se business lo wo
sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:54:28 AM): so ma ba

WTF? What fucking language do these people speak? Could anybody from Florida let me know if people actually say "so ma ba" or "lo wo" down there? French horn, cable cars, Dodger Stadium, Munich, underground parking lot.

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:54:35 AM): what?
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:55:37 AM): I might be able to work with you starting next week.

Uh oh....she doesn't love me.......how can I get her back?

sweetlady_33415 (10/21/2006 2:56:05 AM): ok

I KNOW! She LOVES it when I start talking about sex! THAT'LL work!

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:56:23 AM): your profile pic is hot.
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 2:58:25 AM): we could mix some business and pleasure, if you know what I mean.
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 3:00:43 AM):
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 3:03:15 AM): you there shan?
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 3:05:39 AM): this could be win-win....in business and the bedroom.
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 3:08:57 AM): some drinks at the Palms...a hotel room....and you and me bouncing off the mattress.

I'm so fucking romantic!

nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 3:11:07 AM): hey, you said you'd be right back!
nyteowl1963 (10/21/2006 3:12:49 AM): hey, are you a lemur?

************************************************************

She split. So tonight....well...I PM'd HER.

sweetlady_33415: yes
sweetlady_33415: are u interested in the job

Uh, no.

nyteowl1963: yes. I'm trying to clear up my loose ends so I can devote all my attention to the job...and you.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM.......allllll my attention.

sweetlady_33415: really

No, not really.

nyteowl1963: absolutely.

sweetlady_33415: kool
sweetlady_33415: can i have your information now
sweetlady_33415: so that u can get started by next week

Let's get started NOW. Take off your clothes!

nyteowl1963: I'm in the process of getting a private mailbox.....I'll be getting it tomorrow...
nyteowl1963: I'll send you the info on that tomorrow.

sweetlady_33415: ok
sweetlady_33415: u mean a po box

No, a private mailbox.

nyteowl1963: well, kind of. it's a rented mailbox but at a store, like a UPS store.

sweetlady_33415: ok
sweetlady_33415: so that u will be using it to receive payment from our client

No, I'll be using it to traffic steroids.

nyteowl1963: I'm excited about doing business with you. You ever get to Atlanta?
nyteowl1963: yes, that's the one.

sweetlady_33415: ok
sweetlady_33415: nop
sweetlady_33415: i have not
sweetlady_33415: been to the place before

"The place"? It's a city!!!!!!! LMAO Must think I'm talking about another club.

nyteowl1963: you should cum over and see it...check on your employees in the U.S.

Nice touch......(patting myself on the back).

sweetlady_33415: it will cost the company to do that

nyteowl1963: yes...but you could probably write off of your taxes.

Like a real company would do.

sweetlady_33415: ok
sweetlady_33415: yes

Right. Exactly.

nyteowl1963: I'm Dan.
nyteowl1963: what's your name?

sweetlady_33415: im shannon

nyteowl1963: Nice to meet you Shannon.

Take off your clothes, "Shannon".

sweetlady_33415: is a pleasre

nyteowl1963: yes, it is a pleasure.
nyteowl1963: I look forward to working with you closely.

Sans clothing.

sweetlady_33415: ok

nyteowl1963: love your profile pic. I really like blondes.
nyteowl1963: you there baby?

Baby? Lover?

nyteowl1963: given any more thought to you and me getting together for some romance?
nyteowl1963: shannon sweetie?
nyteowl1963: everything okay?
nyteowl1963: you okay shannon?
nyteowl1963: i'm worried shannon. you okay?
nyteowl1963: shannon, we were talking. why'd you leave?
nyteowl1963: to find some more marks?
nyteowl1963: I say something wrong?

Man, Shannon's playing hard to get!

sweetlady_33415: nop

"nop"?

nyteowl1963: oh good.
nyteowl1963: I like you.
nyteowl1963: you're pretty and really neat.

Gee whillikers!!!!!!!!!!

sweetlady_33415: thanks

Don't sound so fucking enthused, biatch! I'm spilling my guts out and all I get is "thanks"?

nyteowl1963: you're welcome.
nyteowl1963: like your name says, you are one sweet lady.

Made THAT up all by myself! Teacher gived me a ribbun fer it!

sweetlady_33415: ok

Shannon.....throw me a bone! Anything!

nyteowl1963: do you like me?
nyteowl1963:
nyteowl1963: so.......whatcha wearing?
nyteowl1963: fine. If you don't want to talk, then neither do I!
nyteowl1963: or do business with you either. you're loss baby. I'm totally hung!!!!!

I guess Shannon doesn't love me. Oh well. Ogbeni motilio omo yahoo o care!!!!

Did a little research.....What they'll do is send you a check, cash it against your account, have you "keep" 10 percent, and wire the rest to them. Of course, the check is no good and you'll owe the bank some serious clams and probably face some legal problems as well.

Apparently, there IS a company named Rose Textiles Limited in England, but it appears these people have just "borrowed" the name.

Fucking lemurs! So mo ba!

(originally posted 10/22/2006)